Choosing a counsellor

More and more people are curious about counselling and psychotherapy (two words for the same thing, I’ll use the word counsellor) but it can feel overwhelming to choose the right person. In this blog I’ll highlight some of the ways you might decide on who to contact.

Searching directories - there are lots of directories, some are run by regulatory bodies such as the NCPS, BACP or UKCP. All therapists will belong to a professional organisation that provides ethical and professional frameworks, and will regulate the level of training that their members have undertaken. Many counsellors will also be listed under other directories such as Counselling Directory which include a broad range of counsellors with different qualifications and experience, all of whom are accredited by one of the professional bodies.

You can search for what you are looking for support with (eg anxiety and depression), how you want to experience therapy (face to face, online, phone, walking), your access requirements (wheelchair accessible, hearing loop). Counselling Directory allows you the option of selecting an introductory call, and there are often introductory videos included in the profile so you can get a feel for the counsellor’s voice, style, and where they work from.

Looking at profiles

Photos

Often the standout part of the profile will be the photo - so ask yourself, what do you think? Do you like their smile, do they look professional or approachable? It’s okay to have a strong response to a photo, and for some people this will be the biggest factor in who they choose to contact.

What type of therapy are you looking for?

Some prospective clients are looking for a certain style of counselling, but most are not clued up on the 100’s of different styles of support available. When reading a profile the counsellor might describe what approach they are trained in. They might use jargon such a ‘person centred’, ‘humanistic’, ‘gestalt’, ‘integrative’. If you don’t understand the language, and they don’t explain what it means in their profile, it might tell you something about them, or you might be impressed, or reassured, or want to know more. You can find out about the plethora of different types of counselling here, or you could contact the counsellor to find out more. It’s worth remembering that the research strongly suggests that the biggest factors that contribute to counselling being helpful are the relationship between the counsellor and client, and the client being ready for counselling; not the modality in which the counsellor was trained.

Where do they work from?

The environment that counselling takes place in can make a real difference to some clients; some counsellors will show photos of the space on their website or directory profile. You may know that you want to be face to face with the counsellor, or you may prefer to be in your own home. Perhaps you feel safest there, or it reduces the cost of accessing counselling, or it means you can fit counselling into your schedule effectively, or the counsellor that you want to see lives too far away for you to travel to. If you are looking for online or phone counselling consider if you can create the right conditions in your home - a private space is important so you can fully engage in the counselling and establish a meaningful connection with the counsellor. Don’t worry about having to create a stylish, tidy space for online sessions; your counsellor’s non judgemental stance will extend to what they see on the screen!

Some counsellors will offer walking therapy which can provide a multitude of benefits such as the calming movement of the walking, being in natural surroundings and reduced eye contact. They might offer some face to face or indoor sessions first, or work solely outside. They might reference the environment, the weather or the seasons in their work with you (eg how the weather impacts your mood, or how you feel about a closed footpath) or it might just be the backdrop.

Practicalities

Don’t underestimate the importance of practicalities! Are you okay waiting outside the room for the session to start (sometimes outside), or do you want there to be a waiting room so you can arrive early? Will you be able to travel there easily on bus, foot, bike, car? What times and days can you make? If you are a late riser an early session will probably not be therapeutically beneficial. Do you need a toilet to be available?

Recommendations

Perhaps you have a friend or colleague who is really keen to recommend their own counsellor. It’s worth listening and checking out who they have seen, and asking them what they found helpful, but remember counselling is a deeply personal experience and what happens in the counselling room between your friend and their therapist is unique to them. There are strict confidentiality rules in counselling so your counsellor should not divulge anything about who recommended you to them.

An introductory chat (usually 15-20 mins)

Some people will arrange to chat to a few counsellors, others will have a strong feeling about one, and will reach out to check out if their instincts are correct. Whichever you’re doing there’s no right or wrong way to approach the conversation. If you’re happy winging it - you can see what comes up in the moment, and how the counsellor responds. Other’s might think about what they want the counsellor to know about them, or what’s happened to them. You might have some direct questions around the counsellor’s experience, or style of working. There’s no pressure to make a decision about whether to book a first session in that phone call, but it’s also okay if you get a good feeling and want to ‘seize the moment’. Occassionally I get a booking from someone who doesn’t want an introductory chat at all, and that’s absolutely fine. The first session can be an introduction in itself, you can choose whether to return for more sessions after that.

Specialist organisations offering support

There may be specialist organisations in your area offering free or low cost counselling. Counsellors working within these services should have had some training in a specific area of work and be supported by managers and supervisors with specialist knowledge. I work for a service that supports clients who have experienced sexual abuse. This service, and others like it may provide other services such as Independent Sexual Violence Advisors, helplines and peer support. When accessing counselling through an organisation you will not be able to select your counsellor, but if you felt that the counsellor that you are allocated was not helping you, you could bring this up with them or the service manager. A downside of accessing counselling through an organisation is that there may be long waiting lists, meaning waiting weeks, more likely months, before starting sessions. Examples of agencies working with clients that have experienced sexual abuse in Sheffield and surrounding areas including SAIL (Derbyshire), SRASAC (Sheffield), Saffron (Sheffield), ROTHACS (Rotherham), DRASACS (Doncaster).

If you would like to contact me for a chat about counselling, don’t hesitate to drop me an email samrobbkingcounselling@gmail.com, or message me on 07775888249.

I’d love to hear from you!